Exploring Relational Blueprints Whatever you think you need from another you already contain within you. If you would commit to authentically finding that first, the whole basis of the relationship may shift from scarcity to abundance.Educare Unlearning Institute: ‘Where to Start’ Note: I’m indebted to Belinda Gore’s teachings on the Enneagram with Object Relations theory […]
How I apply Personality Psychology in my Relationship
For a minority of lucky people, finding and keeping love has been easy. Maybe you are one of these fortunate souls. Perhaps you met the love of your life during your college/University years, and you’ve remained happy – more or less – ever since. I am not one of those people. The long term relationships […]
Your Romantic Chemistry isn’t Mysterious, it’s Accountable
Have you ever experienced instant connection with someone, be it your current partner, an ex or even your girl or guy friend? Of course you have! Have you ever shrugged and attributed it to “chemistry” being present, without seeking to understand the nature of the simpatico? You wouldn’t be the only one… I hear this […]
The Four Fearsome Hurdles in Relationships and Life
The four fearsome hurdles were coined by psychotherapist, teacher and writer, David Richo, in his book Past is Present, which also inspired last week’s post (about transference). The fearsome hurdles are four specific tensions that impact us all in relationships and life. These things are a given of life, and core issues in relationships. The […]
A Short Guide to ‘Transference’, the Relationship-harmer
Last weekend I was spending time at my boyfriend’s place. It was his birthday, so we had one or two social engagements, plus he was preparing for something important on a personal project. This meant he had less available attention than usual. As the weekend unfolded, I experienced an old wound reopening. A past unmet […]
7 Ways to Stay in Love
You’re crazy for them; they are similarly gaga about you. But why do some couples manage to stay deeply in love, and others lose it? Social psychologist Erich Fromm gave us all a big clue when he said that love isn’t a feeling, but a practice. In other words, love involves behaviour – it’s a […]