Jealousy is complicated. Although its involuntary nature can make jealousy seem biological, jealousy isn’t biological – it’s emotional. And like all difficult emotions, jealous occasions are opportunities to connect with deep unconscious fears, which can wind up orchestrating much of your emotional experience. In other words, your jealousy is an invitation to get to know yourself […]
‘I Just Haven’t Met the Right Person’
Yeah, I know. I used to tell myself the same thing. It’s still my default reason if people ask why I’m single, and there isn’t time to give them the analysed-with-military-precision response. But I think we both know it’s a little simplistic. Telling yourself you haven’t found ‘the Right Person’ (even though you’ve kissed not […]
A Guide to the 4 Love Styles
What, there are only four love styles? C’mon. You’ve had more than four already. I know. But bear with me, as this theory has backing from psychology. The four love styles emerge from the four observable evaluative/judging criteria all humans use, and which silently influence how we each ask and respond to the question, ‘do […]
Fuck Yes Enough
There are a lot of life philosophies around, telling you how you should do things. ‘Fuck yes enough’ is another one of those. Basically, it is about knowing who should get a ‘fuck yes enough’ in a dating context, why that must stop short of an unadulterated fuck yes, and how to properly interpret things […]
We Need to Talk (about Nonviolent Communication)
I’ve traditionally been a bit of cack-handed communicator. In everyday communication and when nobody’s got any beef, I’m totally fine. The challenges come during high stake moments, and specifically in knowing how to express my needs in a way that isn’t either too weak or overly forceful. I didn’t even think in such terms until […]
How to Get over a Rejection
Getting rejected is grim, which is why we all go to lengths to avoid it. Tirelessly working out and shoring up attractive personal qualities – much of our self-development efforts are really about warding off the possibilities for rejection. But attractive people also get rejected. Nobody is immune from it. And so we all need to […]