Having strong boundaries is pretty important. But why so hard? Several reasons really. We (women especially) have an ingrained bias against demonstrations of assertiveness. Anytime we reinforce a division, it is met with either our own guilt or other people’s judgments. And that is the other thing: we hate being the bad guy. It’s not such that […]
How to Stop being Mr or Miss Independent (and be Interdependent, Instead)
From a distance, the independent person cuts a striking pose. To be independent looks like power, freedom, and true strength. But it isn’t. Independence is not strength, it is a wound. Independence is inspired not by love, but fear, and not by wholeness, but aloneness. Independence is the ego’s attempt to be its own god. […]
40 things I’d tell my 20-year-old self about Love
Staying in love may be more challenging now than ever. Partly that’s because being part of a couple has to be worthwhile. Whereas back in the day your partner was literally your partner whom you needed to create a decent life, now we have the relative luxury of being concerned with loftier goals, such as discovering ‘life purpose‘ and self-actualization. Does […]
How to deal with Infidelity in a Relationship
How would your relationship stack up on a health test? It’s a personal question, I know. But when it comes to a person’s wellbeing, a relevant one. Any assessment of overall health would be incomplete without an inventory of personal relationships – how authentic they are, and the extent to which they provide the right environment […]