The four fearsome hurdles were coined by psychotherapist, teacher and writer, David Richo, in his book Past is Present, which also inspired last week’s post (about transference). The fearsome hurdles are four specific tensions that impact us all in relationships and life. These things are a given of life, and core issues in relationships. The […]
A Short Guide to ‘Transference’, the Relationship-harmer
Last weekend I was spending time at my boyfriend’s place. It was his birthday, so we had one or two social engagements, plus he was preparing for something important on a personal project. This meant he had less available attention than usual. As the weekend unfolded, I experienced an old wound reopening. A past unmet […]
5 Life-Changing Ideas from ‘A New Earth’
A New Earth of: Create a Better Life is Eckhart Tolle’s epic follow up to the seismically successful Power of Now. If you’re into self-help/personal growth, both ought to be on your reading list. When you drill down on the ideas in the book, there are really only a few essential ones, but they are genuinely […]
How to Accept Yourself as You Are
Remember that scene in Bridget Jones’s Diary where the character played by Colin Firth sheepishly confesses to Bridget “I like you – very much. Just as you are”. That lovely moment is a pure expression of acceptance. And whilst many of us do accept the people in our lives unconditionally, it’s a lot rarer to feel […]
The 10 Stages of Meditation, according to Culadasa
The process of training the mind evolves through ten distinct stages – these are the ten stages of meditation outlined by Culadasa, aka John Yates, in his book, the meditation training manual The Mind Illuminated: A Complete Meditation Guide Integrating Buddhist Wisdom and Brain Science for Greater Mindfulness. Even if you’re a novice meditator like […]
How to Avoid taking things Personally
Is it ever useful to take other people’s words and behaviour personally? Nope. Clearly there is value in observing and acting upon the words and actions of others. That’s how you keep negativity out of your life, not to mention stay safe. However, taking something personally usually means getting angry, upset or righteous, and the […]